Military Books
One Roof Publications is proud to present a list of our titles all available in paperback format or to download from Amazon Kindle. We hope you enjoy the variety of books on offer. To buy any of the titles just click on the buy it button and you will be transferred to Amazon.
Army Barmy
A satirical look at life in the British Army in the 1970's. Some of what I’ve written is true, but mainly it’s fiction. What I’ve tried to do is, recall some of the situations I witnessed, and tied them all up into one funny story.
Drill Pig And Pongo
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Drill Pig and Pongo, is a collection of new and old army jokes, illustrated by Clive Ward.
The Unnamed Soldiers
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This book is all about things I witnessed and what happened to me during the 14 years I spent in the army, like they say you can’t take them with you but in some of these stories you definitely can! Some stories may seem a bit far fetched, shocking, stupid, or too disgusting to have happened, but I can assure you they could and did happen as those present at the time of the incidents could testify if they wished to be identified. I’m sure everyone I served with has a few “Pull up a sand bag stories” in their locker, the ones you come out with down the pub with some of your mates. Looking back now they were some of the best years of my life and some of the worst.
You Wouldn't Belize it
This book is about things I witnessed and what happened to me during the 9 months I spent in Belize in the 1970’s. Like they say you can’t take them with you, but some of the stories I’m about to tell, you definitely can!
The main story may seem a bit far fetched, shocking, stupid, or too disgusting to have happened, I can assure you most of it did! Apart from a few urban myths, jokes and the odd exaggerated bullshit along the way, I think I’ve just about covered most things.
I believe we have to record our memories for future generations to look back on, either good, funny or bad. Here are mine and I hope I’ve dug up some of yours. I wonder what they’ll think in a 100 years’ time.
Bumpers & Bed Blocks
Bumpers & Bed blocks is a part true part fictional portrayal of army life in the mid 70’s.
Starting with a KAPE tour in the Midland, moving on to the daily routine of barracks life at Colchester Garrison as air portable Battalion. Then it’s off to Soltau, Germany for a 6 week, holiday, I mean exercise.
Here are just a few subjects covered in the book; sick parade, PTI’s, RSM’s drill parades, out on the town, going on leave, army grub, Rheinsehlen Camp, Soltau, Wolfgang, yellow handbags, larkspur radio, tabbing and more tabbing, digging in, gas gas gas, SOXMIX, Hitler, Hamburg’s red light district, The Reeperbahn and on a serious note Bergen Belsen and lots, lot’s more. The book is also full of interesting facts you probably didn’t know.
EndEx
It’s over. Your clearance chit is all signed off. You’ve received your last train warrant, they’ve taken your ID card off you at the guard room, and you walk out through the gate for the last time, it’s Endex.
It doesn’t matter how many years you served in the military, it will always have a lasting effect on the way you live the rest of your life. Marine, soldier, sailor or airman, whichever you may be, there are some qualities and experiences that most, if not all veterans, share. There are 3 types of people, Civilian, Military and Veteran. Once you join the military, you can never go back to being a civilian again.
When you’ve left the military, you might think you are doing a great job trying to blend in to your civilian surroundings, but the signs are there, that you once served your country, sometimes without you even realising it. What you will realise is you’ll never be normal again.
Endex 2 Uncut
Thirty plus years later looking back, I have to admit my time in the army was some of the best years of my life. It wasn’t because I liked it. There sure was nothing to like about losing comrades, missing loved ones. We liked it because we were young, hungry and full of life. We all were, we were a brotherhood. Choggie Burgers, Egg banjo’s, the first fag after a BFT, the smell of Swarfega, reveille, standing orders, Gas, Gas, Gas. Isn't it strange how a few words can trigger a flashback, right back to the days of Blanco and carbolic soap for some. Looking back, I get enormous satisfaction from pretty much all of it. Those memories will never fade. Only those who’ve served will understand.
EndEx 3
After writing two books on the subject, I didn’t think I could write another ENDEX. But after much research, amazingly I have. The hardest thing I found was trying not to repeat myself… trying not to repeat myself! After all, I am getting on a bit now and the dementia is creeping in. I may be in my 60’s, but I still have the stamina, physical prowess and mental agility of a 59 year old.
In this book I’ve added a few of my distant memories of the cheap booze and the no money days as a Cold War Warrior. ‘BAOR’ British Army of the Rhine in the late 70’s and 80’s. All bound together with lots of the usual ENDEX moments.
The Military Humor Joke Book
So, what is the book about? Well, anything goes really, twenty-six chapters named after the phonetic alphabet. Anything could be within these chapters, including jokes, cartoons, and urban myths, so there should be something in here for everyone. With what’s going on in the world today, it's a good thing that the military never loses its sense of humour.
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Military Humor Joke Book Number 2
Following the success of our first joke book, we decided to create a second one, which we hope you will enjoy.
So, what is the book about? Well, anything goes really, twenty-six chapters, named after the phonetic alphabet. Anything could be within these chapters, including jokes, cartoons, facts and urban myths, so there should be something in here for everyone. With what’s happening in the world today, it's a good thing that the military never loses its sense of humour. In fact, we're constantly busy coming up with new and hilarious ways to take the piss out of our rival branches and units, or whatever you are in, it’s all in good fun.
So, get ready for a few jokes, some new, some old…eh and there might be one or two good enough to tell in the pub later.
